I’ve been going through a low phase and my sister went to our place of pilgrimage in Udvada.She said I prayed tons for you.I shot back at her and told her that I had read somewhere that God is only there at a macro level and he doesn’t really help or can’t at the micro level.So our small wishes and prayers to God will always remain unanswered.

She said God watches over all of us so have faith.

Does God really watch over all of us?What about the millions of men,women and children in war torn countries who wake up to the sound of bombing and fear in their hearts.

Does God really watch over us? When there are millions of children who die to starvation.

Does God really watch over us?When people live in abject poverty and don’t know how or where there next meal will come from.

Does God watch over the homeless,the young who fall sick,the abused?

Does God watch over the lonely or the old who just need someone to talk to?

Does God watch over you when you lose a job or you’re mentally ill?

Does God watch over you from making a mistake that will turn your whole life around.He let’s you make that mistake,let’s you fall to never recover from it again,let’s you struggle to survive,to live each day with pain,let’s you fight until your soul is tired and beaten.

I am angry at God today that is obvious because I made a mistake three years ago something small and insignificant and I am still trying to find that lost spark in me,find balance in life,love life again.It should be easy you would say put the past behind you. Maybe I have but it has made me weak and has made me believe that nothing will make me positive, healthy and happy again.It has triggered my bi polar disorder where I have mood swings every second of the day.

Even then I try to get up and go about my things but at the end of the day I feel trapped a sense of suffocation.I hit a different kind of low everyday .

If God watched over us the world would be a better place to live in.We would not have to fight each day to make it better.We would be like children happy for no reason.

Does God really watch over us or do we just want to believe that he does?

Even then I shall pray till I find that happiness in my heart that has long gone,till I meet God again because I too want to believe that he is watching over me.

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