I may remember and find myself nostalgic about school and college days when I was surrounded by friends.Friends give you that certain spark,that feeling of being cool and smart and nowadays updated with all that’s new and happening around you when you’re safely nestled at home.They bring you out of the lethargy.
But family is really there to stay you can have endless moments of laughter,chats about everything under the sun some repetitious always repetitious but talking nevertheless.Then the countless fights and arguments and pretending nothing happened the next day.Trying to be as normal as can be even if hurt by words or actions because you know you’d be nothing without them.They are the ones who pull you out of sickness and financial trouble,give you a roof over your head and food to relish.
They are the ones who talk to you when emotions are uncontrollable and sometimes when you’re bored out of your wits.They give you hope for a better tomorrow.
But I ask myself a series of questions what would I be without family?Would I be out on the street or would I find myself a place to stay?
Would I be able to pay the rent,the bills? Would I be able to take my own decisions without having an urge to ask the family first? Would I learn to do everything myself ? Would I have support when I fall ill? Would I be able to pay for the medicines?
All these thoughts run through my mind with the answer to each question being No.I’d be nothing without them.
There’s so much a family does for you that overtime you’ve grown to depend on them and then it’s too late to be independent.It’s too late to even try and ask them to teach you how to be independent.This is the life you’ve been chosen for, to be tied to the family through good and bad.I wish I could give more.Be someone in the family with some substance.I wish I could be the one my family needed or depended on.
I’m just the one to be pampered to be loved …the one to help out and to be taken care of.I wish I could break out of that one day and give back to my family all that they have given me.
But there’s no way I could repay,there are countless debts and very little time to do it in.
For now I’ll just stay comfortably tied to the family simply because I need them the most.
Hope that one day I find someone who will need me that way…..in that helpless and hopeless way.
Family I am always with you
Rage doesn’t define my care for you
I may be temperamental but I never mean to cause any pain
I’m still a baby girl afraid to be out in the rain
I know you stand by me when I’m out looking for company
But you know sometimes there are things in the world to see
I will refrain from making you cry
I am just struggling for happiness and peace of mind
I know it’s within me and not out there
So family stay with me until I find love inside me again….